07-Survival of the Fittest, or Trial by Fire?

#Not So Silent After All

Story written by Marylyn Abrego, edited by Hannah Darnell, RN—8/24/2026

Devil in the Details

My initial reaction was fear of the unknown and what was silently happening with my body, while unaware of how long the disease would affect me, and what it all meant. More so, I was glad that someone finally listened to me after all these years of me begging several doctors to hear me and do a test but they did nothing. I was scared of what it all meant—as there were several diagnoses given to me at one time.

I was relieved that I finally had answers about the prolonged symptoms. I was worried about how this would impact my daily duties, and what changes I could do immediately to improve my health. A few other concerns were:

· What tests needed to be performed?

· How much this would cost my family?

· How much time will I need to take off from work?

· When will my health improve?

· What peer-reviewed journal articles could I read that showed recent studies about the outcomes of those with my health issues?

It was scary going to see so many specialists and driving so far to get multiple tests and multiple opinions.

Describe your Mental Health Journey

Wow! Where do I begin? My mental health was immediate fear, then anxiety with a quick onset of depression. I was constantly surfing the internet for what others who were experiencing the same things were saying and doing to heal. My mental health was a roller coaster ride. One day I was fine and trusting in my faith to God, but by the evening time I was questioning my body because of what I felt going on.

My faith was strong but I felt so weak mentally because I was saying I am healed, but I was pale, losing my vision, trying to catch my breath, dizzy, and many other things that caused me to see that I needed to pray. I asked God for Him to bless me and to tap into the measure of faith He had already given me. We are not super saints! Meaning we all experience moments of fear, anxiety, depression and Jesus Himself felt all of this too, but did not sin.

When we feel these emotions, we must begin to pray and read God’s Word like He tells us in Philippians 4:8. This passage tells us how and what to think on. Isaiah 26:3 tells us how to keep our minds at peace.

The mind is always a battlefield so when we speak of mental health, it is very real spiritual warfare. The mind controls the body and actions. Proverbs 23:7 tells us how we think is what we shall be and do, so that also confirms the mind—or as we say—our mental health will determine the outcome of anything we face.

Once I began to pray, worship and read Scripture daily, I became stronger and I would repeat, “No matter what you see, hear or feel, believe the report of the Lord. For without faith, it is impossible to please God.”

I remember losing my breath so bad, then a crazy level of faith kicked in to where I texted my husband, “If I die while worshiping in my living room, just know that I danced my way into Heaven.” I turned on my living room TV and blasted music from YouTube to the song, “I’m Glad I Don’t Look Like What I’ve Been Through (feat. Myron Williams), and Bishop Richard “Mr. Clean” White. I also played Renee Winston’s, “Only God Can Do It”. While those songs were playing, I used what breath I had to sing along and dance. I tell you as I danced, the miracle took place. I felt my symptoms improve immediately. I could breathe. I could breathe. I could breathe.

I am learning in life when you feel your mental health declining, that is an opportunity to go and build-up others. While building others, you will gain strength.

Therefore, I purposefully encouraged others more than ever daily, because that is what I needed myself.

Family, Clergy, Friend or Foe?

The reactions of my family and clergy members were not as helpful as I had hoped. It felt like they were full of doubt and instead trying to be my doctor, rather than lend Godly wisdom and prayer to strengthen my faith.

Most times while going through trials, it is those closest to us that inflict fear or doubt. We must set boundaries and put all doubters out of our atmosphere. They do not have to go home, but the instilled negative emotions & thoughts must be dropped off.

I was reminded of how Abraham’s faith was tested with his son as a sacrifice, and that perhaps he could not tell his wife what he was doing; as she surely would have had him arrested for trying to kill their son. I also considered the men who helped him travel to the place of sacrifice. Abraham could not trust them, so he told them to stay with the ass.

I have told people this for years that Abraham was basically saying, “Stay here with your ASSumptions!” He could not trust anyone with what God had told him to do.

When you are living by faith, it is very important who knows the vision and details, because those who were not on the Heavenly conference call, and do not have the same eyeglass vision prescription, will try to talk you out of it.

Most importantly, while Jesus was in His darkest hour in the garden, He asked the three men He took with Him to stay awake and pray for Him, but every time He went to check on them, He found them sleeping! Jesus realized that the only true support we have is from the one who loves us most and that alone is God. He says, “Could you not stay awake? …”

You may ask those closest to you to pray for you and they say they will, but did they really? They will claim that IF you need anything to reach out to them, but hello somebody…if I am in a storm, I will not have the focus to reach out to you, no, I will be focused on trying to surf the waves beating upon me.

Perhaps you, “my so-called friend,” should check upon me. Some only check on you to see if you are close to death—so you must have discernment on what a real check-up is—and whom you update with baby spoonfuls of details.

Last but not least, I felt like I was having a Job moment because my accusers were those closest to me, who felt it was punishment, instead of a test of my faith. It was not until I began to pray for them that God restored me and gave them a VIP seat to witness that I came out better than before I went in.

I will end with this powerful truth…many times because of familiarity, our calling by God is unseen by family, or those who watched us grow up—just like they did Jesus.

54 And when he was come into his own country, he taught them in their
synagogue, insomuch that they were astonished, and said, whence hath this man this wisdom, and these mighty works?

55 Is not this the carpenter’s son? is not his mother called Mary? and his brethren, James, and Joses, and Simon, and Judas?

56 And his sisters, are they not all with us? Whence then hath this man all these things?

57 And they were offended in him. But Jesus said unto them, A prophet is not without honour, save in his own country, and in his own house.

58 And He did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief.

What Helped You Navigate this Fire Without a Single Singed Fiber?

The only actions that helped me navigate throughout the day was constant prayer. Meaning, I was in non-stop communication with God. How is this possible when you have to work, cook, clean, run errands, tend to business and family matters?

Prayer is not always on your knees. Prayer can be anywhere and anytime and it is a simple speak and listen conversation with the one true living God, our Father in heaven. Some days the most powerful prayers I had were very short as God is not looking for loud prayers, long prayers, or prayers with big words.

I simply said, “God, I need You now. God, if You do not help me, then I cannot be helped. God, I believe, but help my unbelief. God, You have seen my life and have always been with me. I know You will never fail me.”

God’s Position = Your Passion?

When God allowed this trial to come my way, even though fear confronted, I fully accepted it, and knew I would pass through it no matter what because I have seen God work many miracles before in my life.

I immediately knew this was simply a new assignment for God to get the glory, and that my steps were ordered by the Lord. I trusted that He was sending me as an undercover agent into places that I would not have access to any other time except for—if I had been diagnosed.

I am learning that what we go through is not to harm us, but to grow us and give us a testimony that will help those coming after us. What we live through and overcome gives us the authority to help reach back and pull others up and out. I had to rely many days on Psalm 34:19 which declares, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all. Even Job told us, “Man that is born of a woman is of few days, and full of trouble” from Job 14:1.

No test, no testimony. My outreach ministry motto since October 2016 has been, “Our deepest place of pain in life is the launching pad for our greatest testimony. No pain shall be wasted.” This simply means that what we go through and overcome gives us the power to help others do the same.

If You Didn’t Go Through the Inferno, Would Your Story be Relatable?

If I had not gone through this trial, then I would have skipped the refinery fire that was designed to melt a lot of pride off of me. The fire God ignited in this trial changed me completely: Spiritually, Mentally, Physically and Financially.

What do I mean? This trial showed me where I was lacking in my faith and lacking in my witness. Because of this trial, God threw me back into the hospital ministry that I had been slothful in. I was forced to minister every week to cancer patients, doctors, nurses, etc. God truly set this up for His glory alone and to refine me.

He allowed me to receive certain diagnoses that would land me around very sick and discouraged people who needed to hear about him. He knew I was bold enough to speak for Him without shame, so He sent me in VIP style. He showed me that He was using me as a confirmation to others that He still heals and restores.

Therefore, once my mission was complete then my new health reports looked unrecognizable. God reminded me of the new name He gave back in October 2016 for my outreach ministry: Fire on Fire Ministry. He told me that because He was setting me on fire for His use, that when I go into fire trials that I will not be burned, and that when I come out, I will be—smokeless.

This simply means that I will not look like what I have been through, and many will not believe me unless I show them the health reports, so I keep those handy. The promise from God is found in Isaiah 43:2,” When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”

How was this Experience Different from Serving in a Church, or other Settings like Social Channels?

Our work should never be limited to the four walls of a church building, so, yes, my daily ministry is different from those who focus the majority of their ministries inside the building, as I travelled like Jesus did—in person, within the community, on a more personal level, connecting with others, where they are, not waiting for them to come find me.

I also can be found on several online platforms using social media to uplift many each hour.

Mark 16:14-16 declares that we are commanded to go out to the world and share the gospel.

Bottom line is, His yolk is easy, and His burden is light—Yours?

Later, as they were eating, Jesus appeared to the Eleven and rebuked them for their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they did not believe those who had seen Him after He had risen. 15And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. 16Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.”

Reference List

Versions of The Bible, Gateway

YouTube Song Credits

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlyRxlodM60&list=RDqlyRxlodM60&start_radio=1&pp=ygVGaSdtIGdsYWQgaSBkb24ndCBsb29rIGxpa2Ugd2hhdCBpJ3ZlIGJlZW4gdGhyb3VnaCBiaXNob3AgcmljaGFyZCB3aGl0ZaAHAQ%3D%3D